Thursday, March 31, 2011

i think i know

how it feels like to be a bun in a steam cooker

super hot. sweaty. stuffy. trapped. no way of escape.

was greeter today and the weather is horrendous. sweat like nobody's business. stink like shit when i ended work. felt so good after the shower.

never going to work full shift again. tiring and waste of time. thanks to the awesome people that i manage to endure today.


had bibimpap for dinner! super good. bloody full though. have to wake up early tomorrow but i am too full to sleep. bahh.

patronizing post. just to get rid of the pervert. blahh

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

i met a pervert today

on the MRT

too disgusted and freaked out. don't want to transform it into words here.

i was pretty calm on the outside. i think. but inside i was so freaked out.

ughhh.

New template

i like my new template

isn't it pretty? with main shades of grey, black and white containing specks of green.

i am procrastinating in buying a itouch. But now there isn't any offers from any shops. no freebies no extra stuffs.

I should have bought it during CNY. gahh.

should i? or should i not? >.<

Sunday, March 27, 2011

to eat and eat and continue eating

i am bloody full now.

i think about 5% of my post are about how full i am from gorging myself with food. no wonder i am getting fatter with every minute. because i dont wait for my food to digest when i start eating another meal. So i ended up feeling full the whole day.

what a pig. gosh. i cant stand myself.


i am still feeling full from my two piece chicken with cheese fries lunch when i started on dinner. soup mee sua. then after feeling super bloody full i prowl around the kitchen trying to find stuff snack on. now, when i am still full from dinner, i am going to eat maggie mee, which you can considered as supper.

off to eat. gah.

.....


back! i am blogging because i have stuff to do online, but my concentration span has shortened considerably since exams ended (now its painfully minuscule) so i'm switching to and fro different stuffs to keep concentration.

so there is blogging, manga reading, picture sourcing and book reading.

sigh. my eyes are tired.

itouch itouch itouch!!

Friday, March 25, 2011

3 Days

my arms are aching. but i have no idea why. i'm very tired now. but its like a norm for me to feel super lethargic once i got home.

it seems like there is a reason for everything


i think i am a nice person. of course there is some form of self-flattery within, but still, i am nice. i'm generally easy to bully because its hard for me to say no. So its somewhat like a pushover. i forget things fast so although its easy to offend me its easy to repair too: just give me cool off time. unless, of course, if i really really dislike that person, which i often does, i will be really mean and snobbish and everything that person do is an eyesore.

there is always one or two people in each environment i cant get along with. i dont want to talk to them, nor joke or anything, nor, basically anything. so my personal opinion is that sorry if you are on the wrong side of me. there isn't any particular reason why i dislike you, but i just dislike you.


so there isn't a reason for everything after all. hahaa


am i being random? i think i am. yawns. sleep time

Thursday, March 24, 2011

i should be asleep now because i have work tomorrow, and i am dead tired from today.

but work starts at 2 tomorrow so i should have plenty of time to sleep and wake up 'refreshed' tomorrow.

wanted to do a long post but seriously sleepy.

Super excited for Korea trip. Cant wait for april to reach.

note to self: buy planner. ^^

Sunday, March 20, 2011

okay. i've just applied for NTU. and NUS is done too.

should i go for SMU application too?


Gah troublesome shit.






let it snow let it snow let it snoww


i really do admire the Japanese.

with all the quake destruction and nuclear crisis and rising death toll and stuffs, they took it in their stride, still optimistic, not crazily exaggeratedly in grief and falling all over in place. and when relief supplies reaches, they queue orderly to receive or buy stuffs. admirable.

enough to shame us. lol. imagine fighting over books. BOOKS! wow. or hording library books, books that ain't even yours in the beginning, and which you have already read before, to exchange. =.= disgusting behaviour. retarded. give those aunties 10big slaps in their faces. disgraceful. ek.



having a headache over admission application. why why why must they make it so troublesome? tsk. and i'm blogshopping while i'm supposed to think about my essay.

=.=

die die die die die. bah

okay. essay. *.*

....



wadever. i'm just going to blabber and hand it in. troublesome blah

Friday, March 18, 2011

I think I better leave right now..



this song is awesome.

.,.,.,.,.

i made my own dinner. okay not exactly, i just stir fried the overnight rice and turn it into fantastic egg fried rice.

the black black stuff are fried fish by mom. rice cooked by mom. haha so my dinner is like only a quarter done by me. but i think i am a prodigy. it has been ages since i last made the egg rice but it taste fantastic. those kind that my mum will make.

superb.

oh happy birthday dad! hahaa





birthday celebration at my house has been reduced from a everybody-participate (eberybody sing song clap call for blow candle) to only i-do-i-surprise-i-sing-song event.

=.=

wadever. its sort of nice to see happy faces. but my family dont show their emotions on their faces. so its like self consolation that they did enjoy it and blah blah blah. -.-

.,.,.,.,

i got a huge scare by a stupid cockroach just now in the toilet. i was pulling down the toilet paper when suddenly this huge black object appeared, and i got a shock. tried to fling it away from the paper and it disappeared while i ran out of the toilet. stupid cockroach.

.,.,.,.,

i realized that i dislike deadlines. while my mom loves them. everything must be done asap. no waiting no delaying no postponing. i prefer own time own target stuffs. maybe that's why i like to read. because i can read damm fast and i have no worries about the deadline set by the library.

=.=

but my mom nags and nags and scolds when we dont adhere to her deadline. i hate that. seriously. must we? its like rules and instructions and restrictions outside already, surely i dont have to do it at home right.

sigh. complains aside. mom and dad rocks.

maybe the japanese recover soon. grief for the dead but cheer up for the ones who live. there is a long way to walk. unite to stand, again.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

zombie's dream

Fuguritively, i'm half zombie now.

Slept too little, stood for too long, ate too much and blah blah blah.

Tired like shit. But still hanging on.

Funny how i never seemed to slim down even though my output was more than input (i think). The buldging area is still hanging there, erm, the fats that surrounds my limbs are still there too. I think my face is rounder.. oh no. I got fatter haiz.

Eyes so tired they are closing on their own accord. I look like a panda zombie now. Blah

Sleep sleep sleep! So pathetic, can only go online via my phone because too tired to use com liao. Gah

Night.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

how do you say i love you..

People from work are one of the nicest people i have encountered



and of course, my favourite peeps.



i think i'm happy. so far.




i think.

*.,.,.,.,.,.,.*


ntu open house today. shit load of people. met so many people whom i knew. squash squeeze splat. pretty happy still. at least i have a rather straight path to walk. now is just whether or not i can walk that path. took plenty of vouchers and coupons too. and plenty of pictures. erm. a fraction of it is uploaded. the rest are not appropriate for my own image. hahaa. went to jurong point after our tour. walked around for awhile, yx left and we went to get dinner. Korean fare! fabulous. Superbly nice. Shared Ginseng chicken with siao and eat until bloody full. I am still feeling full now.

there is this dip for the chicken that makes it taste super good. and the soup is awesome. i will go back and eat it again if i ever goes to jp. its too freakg far.

nus tomorrow. then going to submit my applications and keep myself in prayers.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."
~ Richard Bach

Anger

Mother Earth is exerting revenge.

God bless Japan. China. And the others.

Friday, March 11, 2011

hallelujah

dead tired after chalet.

shouldn't have stayed overnight. did nothing except for some cards games. slept in various uncomfortable position from 4plus till the morning.

but took plenty of photos. its really a photos spamming session. Like we haven seen each other for ages are are trying to catch back time. fun though. ^^

i love chalets. we should plan one too hor my favourite peeps. kekee


open house tomorrow. i want to go for IT fair in the morning before we meet. to get my itouch. so i can load it with games and music before my two overseas trip. Super anticipating it. my bank is seriously going to wither because of these two but it will be worth it. I'll have to start working long long shifts for almost everyday to cover for the expenses. Full weeks. no more dates to spend money. hah

And i just saw this on tumblr:

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.


Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

--Rosemary Urquico


I was pondering over this passage and realize that only one paragraph in this applies to me. the one bolded. the rest, does not make any sense, though i read. maybe because i only read books that appeals to me. and books that appeals are books which are easy to read, no brainer books, books that dose not require thinking.

i'm too lazy for words. i love classics. they are, interesting and entertaining. they make me want to read them again and again. but classics are always packaged in thick, huge volumes and i am too lazy to carry them back. so i read them online. i sort of enjoy literature, but usually need time to fathom the message hidden behind the text. and usually i cant get it. i have no patience for poems or related writing, and deciphering the hidden words is so tiring. maybe that's why i always fail my literature in secondary school.

but the passage is, rather true. i guess people who read are more, sensible and reasonable. i sound like i am praising myself. haha.

oh ya, library at NEX is open! i watched the news and its like crazy, hundreds of people trying to snatch new books. seriously crazy.

i think my recent post have too much words. unlike the brief period of picturey posts. oh but who cares.

itouch tomorrow oh so good

Monday, March 7, 2011

to be or not to be..

that is the question.

do i want to change myself into someone i dont recognise for the sake of being accepted by others? to be given the same treatment?

or do i want to remain the same as i am now, but experience that feeling over and over again?


i am already so different from my true nature already. constantly regretting my actions or words the minute they are out, but just cant get my pride down to correct it. always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time just because i am striving to please. Whom? i have no idea. random people walking by? maybe.

constantly reflecting on my past to try to keep up the images i have drawn, but making more slips and loopholes in the process. in the end i am so distanced from the initial 'perfect' facade i created for myself. and of course, losing the real me in the journey.

you dont know me. that's for sure. absolutely sure.

.,.,.,.

went to play in the park with jy today. its was fun! saw the penguins. and Charlie Chaplin! Love both to death. cute like mad. took quite alot of pictures with the mad cute plushies. aww i want to buy them all how how how how how?

and chelsea just sent me a doc saying the possible scores to get into the courses i want. Bye to NUS. save registration fee too. great.


i am depressed now. bye

Sunday, March 6, 2011

i m possible

i'm blogging because there is nothing else better for me to do

just had sushi so i am in a relatively good mood now. thinking of reading manga but staring at the screen for too long makes my eyes tired. and, i don't feel like it.

bah.

i shall go online shopping. fabulous time waster. and lets me know how skinny and nicely grown other people are. and then i can wallow in self-pity and disgust. tadah. end of the day. go sleep. and face the new day.

no one else has a new long post that i can read. and darn i read fast.


i got a bleak future. when everyone else is busy looking for courses or searching for the ideal school i'm rotting in my chair tying random stuffs that comes to my mind. and tying for the sake of making this post longer than it would have been.

oh and i saw you. but surprisingly there was not feelings. i guess, a happy guess. but now the trouble is, there. which is worse.

i dislike myself. or rather the hormones. yup, the hormones. annoyingly random and raging.

boyfriend, where are you?

maybe..

i was so freaked out when i logged on to the NUS application site and the application was closed for AY2011-2012. =.= then after panicking and reloading the site for several times, i realized that the application will be open 3 days after releasal of A level. =,=

i thought we have to apply within 3days after releasal.

i have no idea of the grades you will have to get to go into the courses i want, so i'm just going to apply for everything from every school. NUS, NTU and SMU.

and i just realized that NTU has alot more choices that i thought. so i closed the application.

closing date is 1April anyway.


plenty of time to realize that i can't make it to the courses i want because my grades are just okay. sigh.

maritime sounds good. when you hear that from me, kill me please. oh i should go kill myself already. because i pass by the shipyard when i go work, which is almost everyday, and near 4March i started entertaining thoughts of how would studying stuffs relating to maritime be? probably fun? maybe.

GAHH i will not say life sucks. Life will not be sucky because of one worthless piece of paper which is on its way into the shredder.


je serai bien

Friday, March 4, 2011

do you really know me?



what i call fear, is an unknown future.