i realized that
i'm pretty good at faking.
Even in bad mood i can smile at guests, and say welcome in a cheery tone. One moment i'm sulking and cursing at somebody, the next moment i'm all smiles and welcomes and stuffs. Ain't i pro? :)
maybe it has something to do with my character of not revealing my emotions to others. Once somebody asked me: why are you always so happy? every time i see you, you will always be smiling. i laughed and replied that because there is nothing to be sad about. I think. Totally politically correct answer. I smile because i look super attitude and bo-song if i'm not. because it is what others expect me to do, look happy and carefree. because i may offend people if i don't, particularly relatives who can't accept the fact that my face is born like this. that's why.
sort of realized it today while freezing at position. a little pissed by the fact that i have to freeze, but that is still fine, because it is just standing. But one stupid pig faced idiot went on to spoil the facade. Super attitude is still okay, i just ignore. But asking whether i speak melayu and stomping off unhappily and pointing fingers just because i'm doing my job is too much. i want so much to punch his bleeding pig face. But its still acceptable, i forget things fast. He went out, came back, and i asked him the same question: hi sir nothing in your pockets? ^^ Pig: yar yar yar la! with a attitude tone and impatient face. after i let him go up, he said something in melayu which i think is to insult me.
wadever. i cursed him for like, 20mins after he was gone. things like restraints poping open when the RV is upside down, or he trip while going down the stairs and roll all the way to first floor. or something flies down from the RV and hits him in the head while he is walking out. Or all his child will be born in the pig year. Or one fine day pigs will invade his house, shit and pee and destroy his house. Stuffs like that. it helps to regulate my anger.
pity i have to involve pigs. i like pigs, they are cute and delicious. But after standing for 3hr25min its hard to continue to be truly cheery and polite after someone offend me. serve you right. wonder why i have to freeze for so long? because in the rotation, people takes time travel. my rotation was very interesting, a 15 min bump for each position became a 30mins bump. because 1 hour has passed and i'm only going to the third position. yeah its supposed to be only 30 mins.
gah i'm whining and complaining about something that i didn't really take into heart. happy stuffs! went to play rapids after work today! it was fun, just that i got real wet with the smelly water. canopy flyer was fun too, something like a mini rollercoaster minus the drop factor. i got tense when the protective cover below disappear though. tsk. must be fear of heights. hahaa
work tomorrow. someone kidnap me. *.*