okay...1st thing..i m deeply sorri to sijia.
2nd .. i hav sincerely reflected on myself.
3rd..i realised dat i hav alot of short points
4th.. i m such a idiot who is not fit to stay on this earth
5th..which is to say dat i might be better off dead.

<-.->

: + : Reasons :+ :

# i m too arrogant
# i m very selfish
# i m too proud of myself
# i tink i m d greatest


and hell noes how my frens tolerated wif me...

i played wif others belonging instead of returning it to them immediately
(sorri sijia)
after playing i forgot to return to them
(sorri yixin,sijia)
and d nxt day i expected my frens to forgive me and forget abt it
(sorri ruiling,yixin.sijia)
i m sucha super freaking idiot bitch.

i dun care abt others feeling, played violent, been stupid, acted as the greatest leader in d universe, terrorise ppl.i played cheat, lie through my teeth, for my own sake.i thought i was sensitive, when i m tinking through my toes.

wadda hell m i doing?

when i m alone, i blame ppl.
when i hav some, i treat them for granted.

yay... =,=

i swear i will try to get rid of the present me.
and reach to a new peak of how to be a proper fren

help me along kay?

then sorri to sijia yixin ruiling again.


i hav sincerely been a idiot.

anyway..for my eoy..it was a absolute disaster....haha...i failed 4 sub. geo, sci, human, amath. though amath haven take...but sure fail..haha...i m sooo due for detention this end of yr...sigh!!!!

hohoho...haha..yest we had our ssgt test..i freaking-ly hell sure fail my test de...cus mainly there r 4 sections..which r:

MOI= fail
INTERVIEW=fail
UNIFORM=shld be okay..
WRITTEN TEST=fail

see? for moi..i totally flunk like dunno wad..cus i was told to teach bersu rai..then i was like..wth? i haven touch on dat drill since like..june? and now is oct leh..4 months man... then all my timing and demo were wrong too...haha...so its a sure fail..but tanks to my lovely sqd mates who were d best buddy i can ever find lor..haha..they were like shooting their hands up when i ask if anyone spotted d demonstrate mistakes..they were like having great response...( they came in turn..the last 4 got d most)haha..I LOVE UR GUYS! [specifically]

interview..haha...the ma'am were like ask me...how confident are u in passing this test? then i said 5. then they ask why... my real was.. [cus i *** *** to] haha... but i crap anyway..and earn a ''scolding'' frm them...i sure fail de i tell u.

uniform..this is d best part.haha..i almost fainted!! haha..i oso dunno why..i was like after being checked by hui jie sir..then was like standing there bored.then suddenly my view slowly went silvery mist..then went on having trouble balancing...nxt thing i noe..i was supported by jasmine ma'am..[wad a big contrast-in view of smth else] cool rite? haha..ever had xperience fainting?=p
then d gals were like telling me dat she had trouble supporting me cus i was much taller thasn her...heavier too.i tink....hehe...it was veri cool!! i always wanted to xperience fainting...cus i was curious was happens when u faint..haha...the result- u dunno wad happens..hahahaaha..

written test,,this test was d most tikam test i ever took..i was tikam-ing through d way. then we had to write a proposal...it was okay la...since i choose d campfire de..then had a xperience at ATC..so i tink hai hao la...hehe..

BUT! in total..i sure i fail ssgt liao..if i pass i chop my head off...then sew it back..haha..and tok!

then jy wrote gd luck to all for the promos..b4 the test..after the test...everyone was like...walao..is gd luck to all to fail the promos pls! hahahaha..

then while we are waiting for our lunch...[tanks to dear sijia n jiaying for going out] we tok abt somebody being heartless..in view of me fainting..haha..then we oso gossip abt dat somebody..hehe..when food came..we ate like we haven ate for a few 100 yrs...poor sijia...she had to eat so fast..cus no more time..until d time xtension..she was like gobbling d noodle down...when her mouth is so small...hahaha..

yipee!!

i tink i got some weird virus on me todae...i was super efficient todae...cus mom not home..jus me n dat super lazi idiot snake [ my bro]..i did d chores...cook..wash my shoes...iron n buttoned my sch u.. took d laundry..shopped[grocery]...by afternoon! wasn't me efficient?haha..then due to my efficiency..tmr i dun need to worry abt this n dat...yay!

but i do hope my shoe dries in time..i dun wan to wear a soggy shoe..haha..


wadda disappointment.. to u

haha..i love my new skin man..but the text colour is abit dull issnt it? it look okay to mr for the previous skin...but for this new one is seems abit dull..n difficult to see..haha

so i was tinking of not reducing d size of the text..and changing d colour..hrmm...which will be abit difficult..cus all my fav colour are dull...haha...

then for my exam..d results will be released nxt week..and now i hav alot of things to do to rush..

haizz...i lead a boring life.

the reason to shine..

wheee...exams over..and todae we had post exam act...it was damm lame...except for d 2 show which r quite entertaining...it was a waste of time...

we are taking our results nxt week...and so i hope i can score geo and pass human, math, eng, chi, sci..a math i have given up...haha...o% of passing....sianx...

so..i m getting veri bored.. and i hav to do d stupid heritage project..lamo..best part is dat cant find anyone to help me print...i wonder how i do lor....

very bored now..and d com wont cooperate...freak d stupid com 2...

more n more lame everyday..hehe.

yipee!! exams almost over!! with 1 sub-test left...i m now almost slacking like hell..cus if i dun do dat now..i will hav no chance when i hav to go back for pump...sianx...i m very certain i will hav to go back...haha..six sense huh? haha...then now hav to play like siao liao..then go back for pump can reminisce..haha...

my last recent test..a math..was a disaster...out of 10 qns..i m staring on 8. then while i was doing...i was having thoughts of not:[ omg..how to do???.] in fact, i m thinking of:[ aiya...随便 la.. / sianx...nvm..dun care/ who cares man.. ] haha...all d while scribbling on mt pap...my pap was super nice de...when u flip through..its blank n blank n blank...haha..i got a fantastic pap...yay!

so...due to all these balnks...i shld be down to d list of pump man...sianx..

and note! i studied!

but i tink my standard of understanding is simply too low for me to grasp it quickly..

but i tink i sort of deserve it....haha..who ask me dun listen in class leh..

but i onli didnt listen in sci wad...

fine..maybe chi n eng...

???

haha.. my humanities is jus sux like dunno wad...those stupid skills ar...i can nvr grasp it...but i tried to apply wad i learnt..so see how lor...haha...

and to yixin..no way man.. if i pass de hua...i treat ur to anything ur like...hehe..

having a wheel of time...suffering inside.

omg... a-math exam coming...omg...i sure die i tell u...wth...all d stupid formula to understand n apply..shit..omg...i m dying liao...arghh!!

yo hooo!!! haha.. 3 more paps to go! haha... but the remaining are those i not veri gd in de..xecpt 4 poa pap 1. sigh..gotta study more liao.. so i m going to devoted my 2 weekends to study..i day for i sub...hehe..

well.. todae was not bad..i tink i shld be able to pass math pap 2.. pap 1 i dunno.. geo was disater...i dunno whether i will score..haha...i got high expectation for geo..hehe.. then for sci..chem n physic...well.chem was..aiya...physic is okay...i hope i can pass..hehe..ss was okay...then forget liao..haha...hope i can pass everything n score in geo n chi! maybe physic too..haha..oh yar...n poa!

wish me luck!

taggies::
sijia:: tankie man...i will sure bombard u wif my prob de..haha..if i hav any..dats if...u better study hor..lets get promote tgth! hehe..

kay...i am angry..quite..but it gone away liao...dats one characteristic i like of myself...my anger jus simply cant last more then a night...haha..

fine. i am sincerely sorri for my bad attitude yesterday. yar, i noe i was in d wrong yesterday...to u, and u. but not to u. to U.i am sorri i ignore u for d whole trip. to U, i am sorri for my little attitude in LB. but to U, i am not at all sorri for anything. yeap. NOTHING

so i was still abit quite attitude this morning.. but ur didnt invite me to put the bags in there.which i didnt really mind. ur ignore me when i waited for ur for 1/2 hr. i shldnt even wait in d 1st place.why shld i when ur are ignoring me?i was even hoping dat ur will be waiting for me after the maths paper. but i was wrong. but i am fine wif it. i wont be able to fit into ur anyway.being too optimistic.after my paper, i was like an idiot sitting outside there waiting, and the treatment i got was being fooled by ur, wow. i onli realised todae dat packing bags include sitting down there doing nothing and drawing on the whiteboard.cool.wad a nice way of packing bags. then i realized dat no matter how long i waited for ur, the treatment i will received is jus being ignored anyway. so why shld i wait? hav u ever see ppl waiting to be coldly treated? i saw i todae. i was angry. veri angry. exactly how u feel when u are attitude by her.

then i also realised dat the meaning of ''best fren'' is dat we are frenz when we are polite n friendly to each other, when we are not, we will ignore each other. i see.

maybe i was too rude, too selfish, too violent, too inwards when i was still wif ur last time. maybe ur are angry too n decided to teach me a lesson. maybe. still optimistic.

and so d results is dat i was sitting alone trying to revise while carrying a hopeful mind dat someone will suddenly pop up n yell''boo!'' so hopeful dat almost nth when into my mind. thanks man.


i had almost enough.



todae i had my maths paper 1 and my chem...maths had some hard parts...but i wish i will be able to pass....chem was disaster...i think i will fail..haha..tmr i hav SS and poa paper 1. hopefully poa wont be too difficult, and dat i will be able too answer fully for ss...haha...

4 papers down. left with 9 papers. [haiz...]



feeling desperate.angry.hurt.upset.nervous. i hate it.